I hope never to forget the moment when Alanna and Aidan first locked gazes. Without getting out my journal, I'd say it was somewhere around 4 months of age. They were lying down next to one another, and Alanna would look at Aidan and vice versa, but never at the same time. But at one moment, they finally looked at each other at the same time, and they just stared at each other. It was so sweet, and if only I could know what they were thinking in that moment! As an outsider, it seemed like there was a realization taking place, a sort of "Hey, I know you. You're lookin' at me. I'm lookin' at you. Wow!" But who knows! It was definitely a prolonged gaze, and I was totally fascinated watching this take place.
It's official. Emory is absolutely obsessed with Lightning McQueen. We have 4 different styles of Lightning McQueen cars...similar to matchboxes. Every morning, she looks for the "Dark Red Lightning McQueen" (after he got his paint job in Radiator Springs) and has it in hand before breakfast. If she can't find it, there is a crisis at hand. Jason did a "google images" search for Lightning McQueen, and Emory was SO thrilled to see SO MANY pictures of LM. We've talked a little bit about potty training, and she would REALLY like some LM underwear, which they don't make for girls. But she was so excited at the prospect, it may be the perfect motivator when we decide to make the leap. Does it really matter if she wears boys' underwear??? It's not something that had ever crossed my mind...but I'm thinking it just might be worth it! She is so funny...our rough and tumble little tomboy, who loves all things stereotypically for boys!
We were at the play area at the mall today, and Aidan and Alanna were making cautious attempts at jumping from one "structure" to another. Then Emory decided to give it a shot, and with hardly a moment's thought, she just jumped. She didn't make it, but she didn't care. She just popped up, told us that was a "big jump" and did it again, and again, and again. As Alanna and Aidan practiced, they got closer and closer to meeting their goal. Only a few minor bumps! Emory got one big bonk on the head, and I was expecting a wail, but she just looked up like nothing happened. Aidan hit his nose once, and he got quite upset. He recovered when I told him I'd take a look, so he leaned his head back, and I told him I saw a dinosaur in his nose. He started to laugh and laugh, and off he went.
Emory is in that phase of toddlerhood when children ask a zillion-and-one "why" questions. I try my best to be patient, but sometimes I feel like if I have to answer one more question I will go bananas. Emory asks simple questions. Alanna asks very thoughtful questions that reflect how deeply she is processing things we read or see. They require an explanation, not a simple answer. Tonight at dinner, Jason turned the tables on Emory. I'm not exactly sure how it happened; I was just thankful I wasn't on the receiving end of all the questions for once! But all of a sudden, no matter what Emory said, Jason replied "I don't know. Why, Emory?" Some of her responses:
Because... (looks out the window)....the tree
Because...(sips from her cup)...my milk
Well, at least it made Jason and me laugh.
I am amazed at Alanna's memory. We were talking about her stuffed animal "Blue" from Blue's Clues, and she said she'd really like a Dora doll. I told her when we got Blue, I offered her the choice of Blue or Dora, but she chose Blue. Then she said something like, "yeah, I really liked that train that went around the ceiling at that place." I didn't even remember that until she brought it up, and the trip to the beach was last Fall. She has even reminded me about things that took place last Spring! She stores away these little details in her mind that don't make much of an impression on me.
We got new shoes this weekend. As Aidan was helping me choose the shoes he wanted, one or two of which I wasn't too excited about, he suddenly spied a pair of shoes that had orange on them...his FAVORITE color. He gasped and grabbed it; he was so excited and couldn't bear to put it back on the shelf. It took some convincing to reassure him that they would get him a pair from the back, and we would take them home. They are cute little shoes, I must say...kind of a hybrid sneaker-sandal. My little boy has good taste in shoes!
We went to The Loop for dinner with friends, and the kids had a blast...well, the adults did, too! But the best part, of course, was the milkshake Jason clued Aidan in on while we were at Stride Rite. They chose an Oreo milkshake, and there was not a drop left to spare. I got a great shot of Emory with it all over her face. When no one was looking, she took the lid off and turned it up. I think we all saw her at the same time and cracked up. Fortunately, there wasn't much left, so it was really just on her face. I'll upload the photo soon.
Aidan is officially a "stander"...if you know what I mean....
We had a fun morning at Duke Gardens with some friends today. We had a picnic and walked over to the duck pond before we left. Everyone was really good about staying close, so I wasn't chasing anyone down. That made the whole thing so much more pleasant!
And other fun news:
Apparently Alanna knows how to count to 100! I heard her counting while I was getting ready, and I wasn't expecting her to keep going, but she sure did! I stopped what I was doing and listened. She had to stop and think at times, and If she missed a number, she'd go back and fill it in. Every time she remembered what set of ten she was starting (sixty, seventy, etc), she would grin at me...so proud of herself!
When we were playing outside this afternoon, Aidan and Alanna started getting some major hits with their golf set and tee-ball. Alanna had a little trouble at first, but then she started getting the hang of it, and she connected with the ball every time. One time, it would have gone into the cul-de-sac, but it hit the little "fence" around the flowers under the mailbox. Aidan has figured out how to hit the ball without taking out the tee as well. He hit the ball across the driveway once or twice!
Let's just say that yesterday was the day that would not end, and if it had been justifiable, I would have put the kids to bed at about 3:00. The evening did not end well...the final straw being the fact that I had prepped most of our dinner (calzones) during nap time to allow us plenty of time to play outside in the afternoon. When we came in, I was running a little behind and just needed to grab the refrigerated pizza crusts out of the fridge to get the calzones stuffed and in the oven, which was already pre-heated. I couldn't find the crusts because they somehow made it into the FREEZER. As far as I know, there is no way to defrost frozen tubes of pizza crust, though I could be wrong. Plus, it says on the packaging "do not freeze," so I wasn't sure what the results would be even if I figured out how to do it...and fast. I flipped out...and we had peanut butter and honey for dinner.
Jason had a flat tire that our neighbor pointed out, so he left to get that fixed, so he could get to Roxboro this morning for clinic. Of course, the guy in charge of patching tires was "at lunch," and wouldn't be back for at least another half hour. they tried to patch it, but for reasons I didn't thoroughly process, we ended up with a new tire all together.
Anyway, after bathtime, we were reading books, as usual. Typically the kids ask Jason to read, so I sit with them and rub their backs or curl up next to them. Tonight, he wasn't here, so I read to them. As I started to read, I felt a little hand rubbing my back. It felt like heaven, and I just stopped and looked down at Aidan and smiled. He smiled back and asked me if it felt good. He was trying to help me feel better, and it worked! So then Alanna got in on the action, and I had to relocate so that I was between them. That way, they could each rub my back while still being able to see the pictures in the story.
It was very sweet, and I was so touched by their efforts to help me with my "attitude adjustment."
Sometime during lunch, we started talking about children's ages and who is older/younger than whom. Eventually, the conversation turned to Aidan and Alanna having babies. Aidan asked "What color will they be?" ??? I told him they'd be whatever color God makes them! Over the course of the conversation, I discovered that Alanna plans to have a baby girl named "Oliktch" with skin the same color as hers. Can't wait to meet her!
I'm just warning you that I am writing this as a future guilt-trip for Aidan and Alanna...you might not enjoy this...or you might...if you're mean...
I don't know why I started thinking about this tonight...
Aidan and Alanna's due date was 9/17/04, which placed me at 37.5 weeks gestation--full term for twins. In early August, our friends threw a baby shower for us, and my parents were visiting. I was just shy of 33 weeks, feeling huge...and very hot. And itchy, for that matter. My belly itched, which didn't surprise me...it was stretched so tight, you could bounce a penny off of it, so I kept lotion on it as much as possible. But I had these patches on my thighs that just itched like crazy. So of course, I googled something like "itching+pregnancy" and PUPPP came up.
Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy
Sounds pleasant, doesn't it?
Not being prone to self-diagnosis (I leave that to Jason, if I can coerce him), I thought "no way. please. no way." If you're interested in learning more about PUPPP, click here: http://www.emedicine.com/DERM/topic351.htm
All that you really need to know is that is an INTENSELY itchy rash that occurs during pregnancy. It's horrible and unrelenting. Typically it occurs during the third trimester of first pregnancies, more frequently in those carrying multiples. The cause is unknown, but some suspect it is due to the rapid stretching of the skin during that last trimester.
I digress. We went to the shower on Saturday evening, and in EVERY picture, I'm scratching my legs. One of Jason's colleagues, who was a dermatology resident, kindly took a quick peek and said it could be PUPPP. Slowly, the itching spread...down my legs, all over my torso (except my belly button...a classic presentation, apparently), my arms, between my toes and fingers. Each day it got worse. I could not WAIT to leave work, and I sent Jason out for oatmeal bath concoctions hoping for some relief. I hardly responded to him when I walked in the door...just went directly upstairs to run a bath. Fat lot of good that did. I discovered the only relief was Benadryl, which knocked me out. I was sort of a junkie; about every four hours, I could feel the itching coming on again.
On Wednesday I had plans for lunch with friends, followed by an appointment with my OB/GYN. So I downed some Benadryl around 7:00 and thought "Here's hoping I wake up in time for lunch!" as I curled up on the couch. I did, and I was lovely in August, big as a house with a rash all over me. I reassured them that I was not contagious, or so I thought. So we had lunch, and then I headed to the doctor. Jason met me there, and we ran into our friends, who were expecting a baby in December 2004. I remember her saying I looked terribly uncomfortable, which I was. Finally we were called back, and my MD, also friend of Jason's, took one look at me and asked why I didn't call her. "It's PUPPP." And there is no "cure" for PUPPP...you just have to wait it out...it resolves after delivery on its own. GREAT. As we were finishing up "the routine," she then informed me that I was going to the hospital for bedrest for at least a week. Typically I had prepared myself for that possibility before every appointment, but with all the itching, it didn't even cross my mind. I was so upset. Why? I have no idea why I started to cry. Must've been the hormones.
The beautiful thing about this is that they had to deliver steroids by IV to strengthen Aidan's lungs in case I went into labor. For whatever reason, this helped the itching! Even my doctor was surprised. After a painful punch biopsy of my foot to rule out another pregnancy-related rash, I headed off to the high-risk pregnancy ward for a week in Parkland...where more babies are delivered than anywhere else in the country...also the best place to be if your child has to go to the NICU...also a county hospital, so all the loveliness that goes with that. I had the best nurses though; they were so sweet. One even gave me a little dress-up tiara, for reasons I now cannot recall. But I still have it.
I wasn't there long before the dermatologist I mentioned above came to visit and ask if the dermatology residents could take a look since I had such a classic case of PUPPP. Of course, Jason being a resident, learning from patients, I couldn't refuse. So at least 10 residents meandered through, some asked if they could take pictures...yes, photos... of my gigantic, spotted, itchy (though not so horribly anymore) belly. Some of which were then forwarded to Jason, and subsequently inserted into a Powerpoint presentation for one of the Internal Medicine teaching conferences, Potpourri, for all to see. They would present unusual cases and see if faculty or housestaff could guess the diagnosis. These are the little clips I can recall him telling me, as he laughed:
A devastatingly handsome man walks in with his wife.... She has recently experienced rapid weight gain.... She presents with small red pustules (I'm guessing this is where my belly shot came in) on her extremities and torso... She complains of intense itching...
No one figured it out, as I recall...except maybe the people who knew me.
The itching gradually subsided to a very tolerable level as long as I continually used some cream the dermatologist gave me (the biggest tube they could prescribe) and kept myself well-moisturized. Four and a half weeks later, along came our two little angels, and they are worth every ounce of itching I experienced!
I only know one other person who had PUPPP, and when we discovered the connection it was so wonderful to have someone who KNEW how bad it was. I'm sure most people imagine it's just an annoying kind of itch, but it is far beyond that. Fortunately we could laugh about it together now!
This is a (rough) transcript of a conversation Jason told me about:
Jason: I'm really sad. The Tar Heels lost a big game last night.
Alanna: Did they practice?
Jason: (laughing ) Yeah, they practiced.
Alanna: (compassionately) Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Jason: Do you think they'll win it next year?
Alanna: Yeah, they'll win next time.
Is she really only 3 (and a half?)
Another little vignette from my parents' last night. When Jason and I leave for Baltimore for a few days, and leave the kids at their house, we have concerns about just what Emory might get into. She is clearly very comfortable in their home. Fortunately, Emory tends to let out mischievous little giggles when she is doing something she shouldn't....or she's so quiet you know something is amiss. (The question is, will my parents hear and/or recognize these cues!) I didn't ever truly understand the meaning of things being "too quiet" in reference to toddlers until Emory came along. At one point, she disappeared around a corner, and the options were: a bathroom with a litter box, a laundry room with a litter box, a bar with lots of glassware and alcohol within reach and a bedroom. She was silently waiting in the bedroom (thank God) until she saw me turn the corner (I assume) at which point she let out her little giggle and started running across the room. When we play this game of cat and mouse, she has a funny little run...it's kind of a high-stepping, bouncy run with her arms out to the side. I caught her in my arms, and she thought she was so funny. We went to the family room, where I spoke briefly with my dad, when I heard another of those giggles heading up the stairs. So there, she had three bedrooms and two hall closets to get into. She went into the first room and ran as fast she could, cackling away as she heard me bounding up the steps behind her.
At our house, she loves to run ahead of us when we go upstairs, go into the closet in the master bathroom, close both doors and wait in silence until we open the door...and she starts to squeal.
She cracks me up. That gleam in her eyes never disappears...I hope it never does. My passionate, spirited little girl!
